it took me a woman late last night,
I was three -fourths drunk, she
Just started peeling off her onion gook,
she took off her wig, said, how do I look?
I was high -flying, bare -naked,
Well, sometimes I might get drunk
Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk
Don't hurt me, nonna, don't
pretendin' she don't know
When a can of black paint, it fell on my head
I went down to scrub and rub
But I had to sit in back of the tub
Cost a quarter, half price
When my telephone rang, it would not stop
It's President Kennedy callin' me up
to make the country grow?
I said, my friend John, Bridget Bardot
Anita Eckberg, Sophia Loren
She yells and hollers and
Rolls me over and kicks me out of bed
She's a man -eater, a meat grinder,
Oh, there ain't no use in me
I got a woman who works herself blind
works up to her britches,
writes me letters and sends me checks.
She's a humdinger, folk singer.
Late one day in the middle of the week,
eyes were closed, I was half asleep.
I chased me woman up the hill
right in the middle of an irate drill.
jumped the fallout shelter,
I jumped the string beam,
I had a man on the stand,
he's run ning for office on a ballot note,
he's out there preaching in
telling me he loves all kinds of people.
i flicked the channel to number four
with a bottle of oil in his
What I want to know, Mr. Football Man,
is what do you do about Willie Mays,
Well, the funniest woman I ever seen
was the great -granddaughter
She takes about 15 baths a day
Wants me to grow a mustache on my face
Well, you ask me why I'm drunk all the time
It levels my head and eases my mind
I just walk along and stroll and sing
I see better days and I do better things
make love to Elizabeth Taylor,
catch hell from Richard Burton
4.8
