キー: F major
Verse 1
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Our fam il ies
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have traditions,
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we've heard them a thousand times.
Our ancestors were
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unequivocally right.
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They frequently went on missions, to very peculiar clans,
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to lead the wretched hea then to the light.
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Though some of them were beaten up and some of them stampeded,
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though quite a lot were eaten up, a few of them succeeded.
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On one of these expeditions,
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an uncle we thought a bore,
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Turned out to be more spirited than ever
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he'd been before.
Poor
Uncle
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Harry wanted to be a missionary,
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So he took a ship and sailed away.
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This visionary, hotly pursued by dear
Aunt
Mary,
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Found a
South
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Sea isle on which to stay.
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The natives greeted them kindly
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and invited them to dine
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On yams and clams and human
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hams and vintage coconut wine
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The taste of which was filthy,
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but the after -effects divine
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Poor
Uncle
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Harry got a bit gay and longed to tarry
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This
Aunt
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Mary couldn't quite allow
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She lectured him severely on
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a number of church affairs
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But when she'd gone to bed he
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made a getaway down the stairs
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For he longed to hear the answer to a
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few of the maiden's prayers
Uncle
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Harry's not a missionary now
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Now
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Uncle was just a seeker,
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a dreamer sin cerely blessed.
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Of this there couldn't
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be a shadow of doubt.
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The fact that his flesh was weaker than even our merry
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guests took even her some time to figure out .
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In all those languid latitudes,
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the atmosphere's exot ic.
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To take up moral attitudes would
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be too idiotic.
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Though nobody could be
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meeker than
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Uncle had been before,
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I'll bet today he's giving way at practically every pore.
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Poor
Uncle
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Harry, having become a missionary,
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found the natives' morals rather crude.
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He and
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Aunt
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Mary swiftly imposed an arbitrary ban
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upon them shopping in the mew.
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They all considered this silly and
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decided to rebel.
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They burnt his boots and several suits,
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which made a horrible smell.
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The subtle implication was that
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Uncle could go to hell.
Poor
Uncle
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Harry, after some words with dear
Aunt
Mary,
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thought the time had come to
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make a round.
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He lined up all the older girls
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in one of the local sheds,
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but while he was reviling them and
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tearing himself to shreds,
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they took their mother -hubbards off
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and tied them around their heads.
Uncle
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Harry's not a missionary now.
Poor
Uncle
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Harry, after some tears from dear
Aunt
Mary,
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called upon the chiefs for a pow -wow.
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They didn't brandish knives at him,
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they really were awfully sweet.
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They made concerted di ves at
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him and offered him things to eat.
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But when they threw their wives at him,
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he had to admit defeat.
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Uncle
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Harry's not a missionary now.
He's awfully happy,
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but he's certainly not a missionary now.
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