Did you ever notice that some people don't even think,
let alone act like other people?
Now, you take
Tarzan.
Did you know that
Tarzan ain't even married to
Jane?
Well, he ain't. I can see that poor girl now squinting
her eyes and looking up some big tree and saying,
Tarzan,
honey, let's get married this afternoon.
And I can see old
Tarzan looking down at her saying,
Jane, darling, I'd love to,
but me and
Cheetah's busy busting up
coconuts for supper.
Did you know
Tarzan ain't never paid no income
tax?
Well, he ain't.
I can see that poor girl now saying,
Tarzan, you better pay your income
tax
or they gonna come and get you.
An d old
Tarzan is standing
right up there in that tree
and yell, let them come,
Jane, darling.
and me and
Cheeto will chuck them with these here
coconuts.
Did you know
Tarzan ain't even been vaccinated
for smallpox?
I can just hear
Jane saying now,
Tarzan, come on down here
and get vaccinated for smallpox.
And old
Tarzan would say, phooey on you,
Jane.
Did you know
Tarzan can't read?
Well, he can't.
Now I can just hear
Jane saying, ha, ha, ha,
Tarzan,
you can't read.
And old
Tarzan would just stand right
up there in that tree
with a big grin on his face and say,
hit her with a coconut, cheetah.
I had a friend named
Bill
He lived over there on that big hill
I went to see him yesterday
Then I heard someone say
You're just in time to be too late
We shot
Bill this morning
He read some books we didn't appreciate
So we shot
Bill this mornin'
You missed the crowd all filled with hate
We burned his house last night at eight
Ain't you sorry that you're late
We shot
Bill this mornin'
I had a friend named
Sam.
Sam was a mighty man.
I went to see him yesterday.
Then I heard someone say,
You're just in time to be too late
We hung
Sam this morning
He had ideas he thought were great
We hung
Sam this morning
He said all men should be free
But we know this can never be
And so we hung him to a tree
We hung
Sam this mornin'