Folks, this life is tough
We both suffer such abuses
Girls phoning day and night
I've run out of excuses
We're not bragging,
we're complaining
And don't think this is
treason
We know we're not
good looking
Our proboscises are
the reason
Who's got all the charm?
Durante and Hope
Who's got all the personality?
Hope and Durante
Who's got all the Savile Fair?
Durante and Hope
Who's got all the money?
Crosby
Honest, this is not just a lot of noise
We wish there was something
we could do for other boys
No wonder fellas in this town
Walk around with a great big frown
They're jealous of
the boys with the proboscis
They beg for dates with
all the chicks
But we have to beat
them off with sticks
No one liked the boys with the proboscis
Our secret is variety
That's what we found
My nose turns up
And my nose turns down
We get an awful problem
Every time we get too close we lock
bumpers
You'd think this life would make us smile,
but it gets boring after a while.
blame us if we sit around and mope.
Now analyze our assets
from our profile to our
chassis.
I've got so much more than Gregory.
I've got so much more than Lassie.
So if you've got a sweetie
and you plan to elope,
beware of the boys of the preposterous.
Ah, Jim, my nose has never
been any handicap
when it comes to girls.
Why, in one night,
I once went out with five girls.
So what? In one night,
I once went out with ten girls.
Well, on my dresser,
I've got pictures
of twenty beautiful girls.
On my dresser,
I've got pictures
of forty beautiful girls.
Uh -huh.
Well, I've been proposed to by fifty girls.
But I've been proposed to
by a hundred girls.
Well? Oh, no, you don't.
This time, you go first.
So, if you've got a sweetie and
you plan to elope,
beware of the boys with the proboscis.
Yes, sir.
Beware of the boys with the proboscis.
Yes,